Yesterday I wrote that a lot had changed and one of the biggest changes involves where I live.
I now live in a different house,
on a different street,
in a different part of town.
(Read in a whispered tone.) I am going to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone. Promise? Because if you do, I will be more than a little embarrassed.
Apparently it IS hard to teach an old (female) dog (but we won’t go there) new tricks!
One Sunday, after having been in my house only a couple of weeks, I left church to drive home and before I knew it I was taking the exit off of the turnpike to my old house! I’d driven, totally unaware of my mistake, several miles out of my way to the wrong house!
See why I don’t always like change? I’m not smart enough to manage it!
Thankfully, before I turned into the drive and attempted to park in the garage, I noticed my mistake. After I giggled, a tear formed in my eye. I had some important things facing me and I had to pay attention!
The day I moved into my new home it was 107 degrees. Not so painlessly my life had been boxed up and carted across town. I found that even though my possessions were all present and accounted for, my heart was somewhere in between.
I didn’t think of the old house as mine (unlike Katharine Hepburn did in the video clip below). It had been ours, so I didn’t feel at home there anymore. I lived there a few months before the divorce was final and each day, I felt I was waking up in someone else's house. A couple’s home; not a home for a single woman. I often caught myself reaching for my husband – but he wasn’t there. I spoke to him more than once before I grew accustomed to the fact that he wasn’t there and he wasn’t coming back. I guess I am a slow learner, or maybe just a reluctant one.
If I didn’t accept the circumstances, then maybe they would change.
And though I loved my new home, it seemed strange. It was made of wood and bricks and glass – but had no memories. My only memory so far made me laugh – it was when I fell off of the paint bucket landing, bottom first in the paint tray. Now you understand why I was painting my dining room…it was my new dining room and needed just a touch of paint. To refresh your memory of my three point landing click here.
But then I remembered how I found my home (details soon) and remembered how blessed I felt at the time…
I knew where my new house was, I just had to figure out how to make it a home and make it mine.
As I share my journey I plan to focus on the lessons I have learned and the light that God has brought into my life rather than the ugly details of ending a marriage. If you want trash talk and buckets of negative feelings you will have to watch one of the many talk shows that airs each day. I choose to focus on new beginnings, new flower beds and new views and and new digs and new drapes and new challenges and new joys.
God has assured me in many ways that “He knows the plans He has for me,” [declares the LORD,] “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified)
I am taking Him at His word and I am finding that great things can happen, if I choose to open my heart and mind…
This is a strange/interesting video that I found online the other day…as you are probably figured out, Calla Lilies are very special to me. I love their simplicity and their beauty. I plan to plant bulbs soon so that I can enjoy their beauty in the spring, in my new garden.
Email subscribers: To view an embedded video of Katharine Hepburn, click on the title of this entry and go to my website. I found the reference and her performance very interesting.
"The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower – suitable to any occasion. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that has died.” Katherine Hepburn
These lines are from the play "within the play," Enchanted April, in the play Stage Door, which in turn became a 1937 RKO feature starring the late great Katharine Hepburn.
These are the flowers I carried on my wedding day, notice the Calla Lilies…now you know why the video clip caught my attention…
Living and healing with Grace…and i’m grace
Wed, August 31, 2011
by Grace Lane filed under